I have found myself teetering back and forth between wanting so badly to get my act together during this quarantine/ pandemic and…not caring at all. It’s been such a strange time. High anxiety, bouts of depression, high functioning wellness, being a complete sloth; I’ve seen all sides of the spectrum in the last several weeks, as I’m sure many of you have.
So how does one find a ‘happy medium’? Or do you? Is there such a thing as ‘balance’?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say there is no such thing as balance or a happy medium. It’s probably contrary to popular opinion, but then, what isn’t these days?
As humans, women especially, we get this lie thrown at us , over and over, that you have to be multi functional all.the.time. You get no break between work and getting home and doing whatever it is you have to do there. Whether it’s everything because you’re single or a SAHM, whether it’s duties split between you and your spouse, or among roommates; YOU (yes, you girlfriend) tend to get to do multiple things at once. We like to be queens of multitasking, we wear it *almost* as a badge of honor. ‘Well what did YOU get done today?’ ‘Well, I did this,’ etc etc.” You know what I’m talking about. If you were just nodding your head, that’s okay. We all get sucked into glorifying ‘busy’ at one time in our lives or another. Don’t buy the lie. You don’t have to be a high functioning human right now. You just don’t. You just have to care of you and your family. That’s it.
I’m here to tell you it’s OKAY, don’t beat yourself up, especially right now! No one has any idea how all of this is going to turn out- except God, so let Him handle it.
Some things that have helped me/ I’ve come back to over and over…
Find your safe space- and SIT in it, REVEL in it, RELAX in it- let someone else bear the load for an hour a day.
Talk to your partner, call your mom, text or video chat with one of your girlfriends, pray- you can’t and shouldn’t be going through this alone. There are lots of things happening that are outside our control. Communicate how you’re doing with someone other than your dog or cat. Get feedback and then act on it- you’ll be a better human for it at the end of all this, I promise.
Don’t compare your journey with others- I have to repeat this to myself A LOT. I know how hard the comparing game is. However, ‘This isn’t a time where everyone is blessed or finds themselves in the same boat but we ARE in the same storm’ (shared by Cindy Kelly, author unknown). If putting food on the table for your family is where you are at and what you can do right now, you go girl. If using your stimulus check is getting your bills paid, way to go momma. If you’re able to put your stimulus check back for savings, keep plugging away sister. ‘We are all on different ships during this storm experiencing a very different journey.’ Give yourself- and others- grace.
You can do anything BUT not everything- Take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. There are so many variables and unknowns right now. If you get up, make breakfast, work for an hour or 10 or 12, or never get out of your pajamas; it doesn’t matter, as long as you are moving forward and doing what you can.
Move your body! This one is just too important not to share. Are there days I don’t want to lift weights or walk the dog or do *insert fitness influencer home workout here*- of course! Don’t skip it! Do something, walk, ride your bike, lift, yoga, anything to get your body moving and grooving-get out in the sunshine if you can. There are so many health benefits to moving your body a little (or a lot!) each day. Don’t take that beautiful body for granted!
Drink your water! It may sound silly but I can always tell a huge difference in how I feel when I up my intake of water, it flushes out the bad and keeps you hydrated plus there are so many fun ways to infuse your water these days- it doesn’t have to be boring!
Be thankful- it is absolutely crucial to write down and thank God for the blessings you have. It makes a huge difference in how you approach the day to day. Rather than saying ‘I have to do xyz’ practice saying ‘I get to’ and watch how that changes your mind set.
Hope this helps!
~EMC
// IG:@emcummings02 // www.elysedavis.com
Amen, Sister!
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