I still think of you when I see fireworks. There are so many things to be thankful for even though this year has honestly sucked; in a number of ways. So many times I’ve wished I could just pick up the phone and call you. So many things, that remind me of you! I so wish you could have met Kevin- I think you would have liked him. It makes my heart happy that he does things that remind me of you- you’re never far away- I’ve seen so many cardinals this week and I know you’re right here, always watching over us. A song, the cardinals start showing up, something reminds me.
We are in the middle of a pandemic in our world right now. It is literally unbelievable how stressful it has been and how much things have changed in our day to day lives. However, I am so thankful to live in a country that allows me the freedom to go get tested, to still work, to still function daily as well as possible. I know that isn’t the case for a lot of people, even when there is no pandemic happening. We sold Kevin’s house and bought our first one together! Crazy but so good, I think you would have really liked it. We have an acre, a whole space to ourselves; it’s quiet and easy to see ourselves living here for a long time. We are hoping to figure out some kind of garden eventually, never thought we might actually be forced to learn how to grow our own food (of all things) but thankful to have a husband who can figure out pretty much anything.
Many things this year have made me think back on the stories I’ve been told by you or someone else: I know that when you were working, you were doing your best to make sure the prisoners you had in your care were learning life skills and being educated so that when they were released from prison they had an actionable plan to contribute to this great country that we live in. Such a strong moral compass, a set of ethics and rules you lived by, an excellent example for us all to follow. Especially in the wake of such a tumultuous year. Incredibly grateful for the values and ideals you helped instill in me.
It’s a new year and with that comes new thoughts, new routines, new intentions and new memories to look back on. 2020 was a mess for sure but out of ashes comes beauty, redemption, and the chance to start each day anew. I think I realized that the first time in 2016 when you became an angel but 2020 made us really slow down and realize what is important. Due to a global pandemic, we were forced to sit with our loved ones and pay attention to each other, some of us were out of work for a short (or long) time, sports pretty much ceased to exist for half the year; in the summer, some of us learned of our privilege and how that affects the way we see and react with others and how just because we are born with it doesn’t mean we have to stay that way, we had a record turnout for voters in November and in December we received the first doses of the vaccine. Hell of a freaking year but we have survived the worst of our days and made it to a new year with our family, jobs and health intact. Beyond thankful.
It’s New Year’s Day, Chevelle’s birthday, a serendipitous day off work combined with a real snow day. I was just scrolling through 5 or 6 years of pictures and came across some good ones! Your and Mamaw’s anniversary dinner pictures from 2015, mine and Cole’s birthday celebrations from the same year, a picture of you and Mamaw, Vera and Harlan and Becky & Robert at the lake house, and screenshots of text messages from some of the last visits we had with you earth-side. Such happy memories, so many good stories thrown around. I re read your obituary- it’s not sad, it’s a celebration of the incredible life you led. I feel so blessed I had you for 25 years, seems so unbelievably short looking at it now but you never missed anything if you could help it. You and Mamaw did your best to make it to all 4 grand kids sports events, academic achievements, birthday parties and everything in between. What a special thing to realize: that LIFE is a momentous occasion.
I’m choosing to look back on 2020 as a year of learning and continuing to be thankful and grateful for what I have and always the drive to get better for the days ahead- I know you would have the same game plan, attitude, faith and hope in the people and the world around you, no matter how bad things got.
2021 here I come!
Love you and miss you always,
E