What it must be like to know what you want to do with your life at a young age. Or any age at all- as I am still trying to find myself at the ripe old age of 26 1/2. How does one find oneself? Books? Mediation? Prayer? Counseling? I’ve often found myself drawn to helping people and listening to them like I have a freaking clue what I am talking about. What does that translate into? Always worried about what people think of me and wondering when I’m going to get my shit together. Not knowing what you want to do with your life causes a lot of internal struggle and constant irritation. Mind over matter is easier said than done. Trying to do what makes you fulfilled while still surviving day to day. I’ve had no reason, no life altering events, or happenings that deeply scarred me at a young age; there should be nothing and no one to stop me from being the greatest person I can be. Yet, here I am.
Like I’ve told many people before, if someone asked me what my dream job would be, either I wouldn’t have an answer, or I would have six things I wanted to do. I distinctly remember my mom coming to my fourth-grade class for ‘Career Day’ and talking to the class about her life as a Physical Therapist/ Wound Care Specialist. That’s probably the last time I remember telling someone what I wanted to do with my life with any degree of certainty. I was 10. I changed majors 3 times in college. I went from journalism, to psychology, and ended up with a degree in Sociology. I enjoyed all three, but what really got me into Sociology was a brand-new master’s degree that was being offered at my school: Non-profit Leadership, and a delayed realization from my high school youth minister. Since graduating in December 2012, I’ve worked two places full time.
I’ve dreamed of racing cars, taking pictures, being a counselor, going to seminary, working for or creating my own nonprofit. Why haven’t I done any of these things? My fear of failure and caring what other people think has all but stopped me. I can’t honestly believe that God put me on this amazing Earth to work 8-5 in little box of an office and then die. I just can’t get behind that.
“If God wants you to have it, the blessing will forever have your name on it, that’s why it’s important to not overthink or question the way things unfold in your life. There is a certain timing and purpose attached to each and every circumstance that you face in life, when you start to build that faith, you gain a confidence towards your life’s natural course and direction, you feel humble knowing you truly realize that you’re always in the process of becoming and that God is always in your corner- no matter the weather.”
Here’s to growing into my confidence and taking forward steps to becoming fulfilled on a more regular basis.
Dream on.